Jay's zen space

  Once, a king and his queen dined. Eating chunky portions, they laughed and danced. They smiled and went along with tunes of the music playing. They loved each other. But it wasn’t enough to satisfy the dark ones. The beasts that lay low, but strike hard. They are known as: fear the killer, Doubt the destroyer, Jealousy the strategist, Hate the dreadful, Anxiety the deadly, They roamed free, these demons. Dancing around this couple, they attacked. They used every weapon they had in store. They said the king was unfit for the queen. Tried to destroy his mental health using his insecurities. Tried to separate the queen from her king. They said she was pure and needed better. And so the king lay there in pain. The wounds from the attack opened. They festered and hurt but he smiled. He knew his queen wouldn’t leave, For she guarded something that only she could destroy at will. His heart, he had given to her. He knew she wouldn’t let go. ...

  The Dark king rises that’s the story right? It’s a tale I was once told. A fable as old as Grandmother Harriet. You know she said she’s met him once? Well, the story goes like this. Once there was a cold-hearted man who was made king, He ruled with an iron fist but his kingdom prospered. Everyone was treated proper, And there was always enough to eat.   Nobody liked this king though. They said he was mean, cruel, and various other things. So they all decided to kill him. They gathered a band of rogues, a few pitchforks, even lit some torches. It was fun and interesting this story at that time. I was thrilled that the cold-hearted king would soon be killed. And alas he fell. Without a fuss he handed himself over to the rogues. They hit him, hurt him, some even burnt him. But silently he went with them. They executed him, and a new king rose. The kingdom was still as peaceful as ever. Now isn’t that a nice story? You’re confused, are...

  While y’all were asleep, I was wide awake. A few funny thoughts were stuck in my head. Are oranges called oranges because they are orange? Or is reverse the case? Why count sheep to sleep when you could just close your eyes? These thoughts simply roamed oblivious of time. Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why does existence exist? Why does time flow? When did the world start? Better still, when will it end? While you snored, I wept? While you dreamt, I tossed and turned. These questioned remained unanswered. These questions kept being asked, While y’all slept. People I haven’t met kept me company. They made me feel better, And it helped my head. My thoughts became fuzzy, As my vision became hazy, While y’all slept. I watched from above, Wondering what happens next.

 Is it years days or months now? Everything feels surreal buts it's so unreal. Nothing's sane. Illogical, would be the best description. Mental state's in shambles. Picking up pieces trying to clean out the damage. It's a lot though... So it's taking quite a while. Let's wake up, If you're reading this and feeling it, Then you're probably  already awake. It's been years, days, months. Lost track of time overtime. Wondering when it's going to be time. In space, times an illusion, It passes but you're much too cold to feel it. Love's warm fuzzy and intense. I got enough to finally make a blanket. It's been years, days and months now. It's still all fuzzy but a few pieces are clear. I'm sober so I'm sure my thoughts are lucid. But with this much time, my sober state's done more damage than good. It's alright though. Cleaning up the pieces. A few shards of glass here and there. Priceless limited edition emotions shatte...

Yup, everything's gone at this point. Hope, life, and a bunch of other things I thought had meaning. Life's pointless... This is a tale I've told many times before. It's all good though...  Is the lie I chose to believe. But there's only so much you can do to ignore. Pain, strife, and many other things happening. You'd wake up one morning and discover your man ain't breathing. Don't worry they all say, He probably got caught in the turmoil. That is what you just have to accept. The wars and this distorted reality, I've said it before these things can make a grown man cry. But you won't understand the weight of this statement, until you've sat down and cried. Life's hard,  Like really hard, But it's easy, Really easy. You take good, bad, a bit of crime and you're good to go. But for the sane... I bet they wish they'd rather go. Life's pointless. I've made this clear before. Do you quite understand that there's nothi...

 All I see is people killing people, Using colors as an excuse. "I killed him because he's white" "He was black so I knew he was going to attack" Then the offensive words sink, And the body gets aggressive, And the attacks slowly stream in. Black or white which side are you on? Either way pick up that gun, And down any man that isn't yours. I see people killing people, The color had nothing to say. No hand in this, Yet no mouth to speak. To defend itself and say, "I'm just a color what say do I have to one's personality" "What say do I have to one's temperament" "I make you distinct, yes I agree" "But I don't ever remember making you anything less or more than human" But I believe, Even if the color cried and screamed, The sounds of the gunshots and arguments would drown its voice out.

 Ah, it's another day. Might as well mark my calendar again. I can't miss a day, Because I'm counting to a date. It's an elaborate one. One that comes with peace or suffering. A 50% chance at both. If you were a scientist you'd probably say I could do both. But now's not the time for theories or philosophies, Or calculations and contemplations. It's a new day. A new break. A new chance. Although now it looks more like a trance. Living with no life, yet I still stand. Standing in a crowd, but not being in it. Yet I'm still there. A body with a soul and the ability to think. Oh wait, I think I got lost in a mirage. It's a new day, So I must work. I must live. I must strife. But then again, who put these rules and why?